


This Is My Life

by gorillazspaz



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: 15 year old levi, Angst, Emotional Levi, Fluff, Gen, Levi - Freeform, No Spoilers, Sadness, angsty fluff, before levi was a thug, before levi was corporal, blond titan, crying levi, cute house, hang gliding, levi is macgyver, levi's mom - Freeform, memories of childhood, perfect childhood, roses are a theme, sort of character death, teen levi, teenager Levi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-16
Updated: 2014-11-16
Packaged: 2018-02-25 14:20:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,091
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2624957
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gorillazspaz/pseuds/gorillazspaz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I took a look behind me to see my house one last time before I fell. I tried to memorize the colour of the slate shingles on my roof, the stained glass windows that were filled with separate memories of their own, memories of my mother and I finding the glass at markets and bringing them home to painstakingly attach them to pieces of metal, then we would paint the tiniest details onto the colourful glass. After that we would spend a day taking out the plain glass windows and putting in the new beautiful windows. I felt tears gathering at the corners of my eyes as something hit me.</p>
<p> I will never be able to apologize for not saving her from monsters.</p>
            </blockquote>





	This Is My Life

**Author's Note:**

> Helloooo, I am ~~Ron Burgundy~~ gorillazspaz! I have written plenty of fan fiction, but this is the first one I have ever posted anywhere. Yeah, so, don't be a bitch to me. Everything I say is in good humor, btw. Errm yeah, this is short, um, yeah... Read.

# This Is My Life

Standing at the edge of the cliff that my house sat on, I took a look behind me to see my house one last time before I fell. I tried to memorize the colour of the slate shingles on my roof, the stained glass windows that were filled with separate memories of their own, memories of my mother and I finding the glass at markets and bringing them home to painstakingly attach them to pieces of metal, then we would paint the tiniest details onto the colourful glass. After that we would spend a day taking out the plain glass windows and putting in the new beautiful windows depicting colourful scenes of mermaids and fish, faeries and gnomes, dragons and clouds and roses. I tried to remember the tint of the dark stone that our house was made out of, desperately tried to imprint upon my mind the perfume of roses and pine that permeated the air. I felt tears gathering at the corners of my eyes as something hit me. I will never begrudgingly make another repair on that house, will never climb the great apple tree next to our house to shake each branch, causing the apples to fall to the ground so that they could be collected to make apple pie that would be savored after a delicious dinner of roasted wild turkey and yams from our garden. Our garden that I will never spend another day in on my hands and knees, digging up potatoes and carrots and garlic and yams with my hair tied up in a white handkerchief, all the while smelling dirt and the scent of the lavender rose wash that mom used to wash the clothes that she was hanging up. I will never harvest another bundle of mint from that garden, never cook another dinner with my mom, never again help her pick out the right cut of meat at the market, never hear her sweet voice humming a lullaby while she made her stone and wire jewelry on a rug by the fire at night, and I will never ever again be able to tell her that I love her. That I love her _so_ much. I will never be able to apologize for not saving her from monsters.

I gasped when the blond haired titan smashed through the roof of my childhood home. Then the titan that had caused this disaster turned, caught sight of me, and started walking. I screamed and closed my eyes. No! It's not fair, I'm not ready yet! I still hadn't memorized the shade and size of the giant burn mark on our maple wood door that had been a result of me trying to weld a piece of metal to the door with mom's butane torch when I was eight. I still wasn't ready to turn around and....

I sobbed as I furiously wiped the tears out of my eyes, crying wouldn't save me from the titan that was currently getting closer and closer. I allowed myself one more look, one more smell of my childhood before I turned around, showing the titan my back, still not ready for the sight in front of me but forcing myself to face it anyway.

I studied the ground that rested far far below me, woods and hills with a walled city not to far off. I don't see any titans on the path to wall Maria.

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes once again as I leaned forward, not falling, just smelling. Mom always said I had beautiful eyes. She said that she loved the light shade of gray that coloured my irises, she loved the little gold flecks that dotted them. I always wished I had her eyes. My mom's eyes were huge, a beautiful blue hue with violet spattered around her irises.

Faced towards the cliff, the air didn't smell as much of pine and roses as much as it smelled of minerals and fresh air. I felt the soft caress of a gentle breeze, heard the crash of stone roof hitting the wooden furniture inside of my house, tasted the dust of the ruined house and garden in the air. I thought of my mother and choked out a sob. I heard the titan, it was really close.

I readied myself to fall; I adjusted my make-shift hang glider as I felt the ground vibrate from the titan that had dropped to its knees behind me. As the titan reached for me, I realized that I had stopped crying due to all the adrenaline running through my body. I tightly gripped the metal bar attached to the hang glider and prayed that the straps wrapped around my ankles would be successful in holding my feet parallel to the wing of the hang glider, which would in turn hold the rest of my body parallel to the wing of the haphazard glider. But most of all, I prayed that this would work, that I wouldn't just lean forward and plummet to the ground some thousand feet below me. 

I leaned forward and just when I felt the titans fingers brush the back of my soiled shirt, I sent out one last desperate plea for life as fell forward into open air, and heard the titan howling, faced with the loss of my body as fresh meat.

Despite the tragedy that just took place, I couldn't help but feel exhilarated at the sensation of wind whipping at my entire body. I had a moment of panic thinking that maybe the hang glider hadn't worked and maybe I really _was_ plummeting to my death, but then I craned my neck around and saw that by some miracle my hang glider had actually _worked_ , I might survive. 

When I turned my head back around, I was faced with a sight that stole the breath straight out of my lungs.

The sun had set, and that with the knowledge that I was flying a thousand feet up from the ground, and with the events that just took place up on safe ground, they all combined to create an ugly and beautiful feeling inside of my chest and I felt the tears come flooding back.

This is how my story starts, with my mother dead and me flying down to solid ground, watching the rainbow sun set, the sound of a howling titan ringing in my ears and my tears falling towards earth, not even reaching the ground before evaporating into nothing.

**Author's Note:**

> And you've just finished my first ever released-to-the-public fanfiction!! Yay!! OK! Right, you may have noticed how open I left the ending, almost like I'll be posting chapter two. Thing is, I cant add another chapter unless I want to have a giant fic, and I love giant fics, but the key to writing them is motivation. There's sooooo much crap that goes into writing mammoth fics. By crap, I mean grammar and research. You have to do a shit ton of research. Anyway, I'll try to get motivated and see how it goes. I just don't want to start something that I can't finish. Don't you hate it when you follow a fic that's in progress and the author just STOPS POSTING THE CHAPTERS?! DUDE. NO.
> 
> So, what I want you to do now is take literally five minutes out of your day and comment, kudos, bookmark, and anything else I might be forgetting! Please?! :3 (OvO)
> 
> I made the little emoji faces because that's how fangirls DOOOOOOOOOO.


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